How to Overcome Your Addiction to Control with the Serenity Method (or: How to Attain Peace of Mind with the Serenity Method)

One of my primary goals in life is serenity, or as some like to put it, peace of mind. I view such a mental state as key to lasting happiness.

Serenity comes down to two words: control and acceptance.

It can take years of maturing through failures and pain to realize that we are not in control of very much.

  • We can’t control people.
  • We can’t control the business environment, the economy, or the government.
  • We can’t control traffic, late airplanes, or a global pandemic.

When we want to control the uncontrollable, we experience frustration and disappointment, which left unattended, can easily progress to anger, or even rage.

To gain peace of mind, we need to relinquish control and learn to accept things as they are.

In most cases, you cannot FIX people and only have a minor influence on other things/situations.

Breaking this habit of control is the single biggest breakthrough I have witnessed in people I have coached.

Here’s how to break that habit in 3 simple steps:

1. Commit to not trying to control people and things

2. Carry a copy of the serenity prayer with you.

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

3. When you notice yourself becoming agitated with people or circumstances, PAUSE. Pull out the serenity prayer, read it, and think about it.

The most challenging part is recognizing the urge to control and remembering to do it.

As you practice this simple method, you’ll catch yourself earlier and earlier.

Soon, it will become your new way of being. You will be free of the need to control the uncontrollable.

And you can enjoy the rewards that come with peace of mind.

About Howard Rambin

Howard Rambin co-founded Moody Rambin, a successful Houston-based full-service commercial real estate firm. He holds a B.A degree in Accounting and Finance Southern Methodist University and was a founder of Keep Houston Beautiful. As a firm believer in Otto Bismarck’s observation that “Only a fool learns from their own mistakes. The wise man learns from others” his latest venture is to share the wisdom he gained through years of hard-won experience by coaching business owners.

To learn more about Howard, visit his website at:

You can download his e-book, The Serenity Method, here:

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